Fanfiction of a Japanese cartoon 'Inuyasha' (Completed)

‘Guess I don’t have much time…come here, Kagome.’ Inuyasha’s father said feebly. Kagome stepped forward and listen to him. ‘Kagome, I know you have the same ability as I have and I know you will use it in a good way. Please take care of my son, Inuyasha. Thank you very much, Kagome.’ After saying his last words, Inuyasha’s father passed away peacefully. Kagome was sorrowful, but at the same time she was surprised that someone knew she has the ability of seeing the future.

It was six hundred years ago, the world became tumultuous after Inuyasha’s father died. Inuyasha’s father was the most powerful demon in the world who married to a human lady and had a child named Inuyasha. Many naughty demons were so afraid of him. However, since they heard the death of Inuyasha’s father, they came out without the fear. Most of them wanted to get the powerful Shikon jewel from Kikyou.

There are many great subordinates who have been working for Inuyasha’s father. Kagome is one of them, but there is another great subordinate named Kikyou who used to be an excellent sorcerer and guarded the powerful Shikon jewel. Things changed after Inuyasha’s father died. Kikyou has become a wicked sorcerer and wanted to use the Shikon jewel in a bad way.
She wanted to control the world and she wanted to get whatever she wanted. Kagome has been trying everything to get it back, because horrible things would happen when bad people/demons have the Shikon jewel.

Unfortunately, Inuyasha has been fooling by Kikyou. He likes Kikyou; they played together when they were young. That’s the reason why Inuyasha has a special feeling for her.

‘What a lovely day!’ said Kagome.
The weather is very nice today; Kagome is using her magic to help people.
‘Kagome, we are running out of herbs.’ a young boy reminded her.
‘Yes, I think we should go to the herb land to get some more. Don’t you think?’ Kagome asked the boy.
‘Can I go with you, Kagome? I promise I will be a good boy.’ The boy really wanted to go and looked around the herb land.
‘Kagome! Kagome! I want to go with you, too!’ other children asked Kagome loudly.
‘Ok. Ok. You can go with me.’ Kagome said to the children and smiled.
‘Yay! Thank you, Kagome!’ Children were so excited about this.
So they held each other’s hand and walked to the herb land. Kagome also taught them those different kinds of herbs.
‘Kagome! See, I found it!’ Little girl said.
‘Good girl.’ Kagome smiled kindly.

‘Kagome….Kagome….’ a child screamed from the other side of herb land.
Kagome ran to the child and looked around vigilantly.
‘What happened, my dear?’ Kagome asked gently and worried, because she could tell how scary the boy was.
‘There is…..there is…..’ the child stammered.

Suddenly, the sky became dark and the wind was getting strong and fierce. Kagome told the children to stay together and used her magic to protect them in a circle.

‘Kagome, you must die today! Finally, I have found you! Remember what you did to me?!!!’ A demon appeared and talked wrathfully.
‘Huh, who are you? I don’t remember a thing.’ Kagome said provocatively.
‘Fine, go to hell then!’ The demon ran extremely fast to Kagome and discharged the noxious gas. Kagome couldn’t get a second to protect herself.

‘Move backward, Kagome!’ suddenly a familiar voice turned up.
‘Inuyasha!’ Kagome called his name.
‘Get out of the way, big fat demon!’ Inuyasha showed up.
He pulled his sword and pointed at the demon.
‘Let’s just finish this quickly.’ Inuyasha said.
‘Bring it on!’ The demon said and tried to use its sharp and big tail to attack Inuyasha.
Inuyasha ran and jumped higher on the top of demon, then cut it into two pieces. It doesn’t take a long time to kill the demon. Everything was back to normal and the sky became clear again.

Kagome ran to the children and asked how they were.
‘Kagome, what are you doing here with the kids?’ Inuyasha asked.
‘We are here to get some more herbs. See how many I have got!’ One of the children said and showed him the herbs.
Kagome stood up and asked, ‘Inuyasha, what are you doing here?’
‘I just passed by and heard some noise from this area. I was curious, so I came by and have a look.’ Inuyasha told Kagome what happened.
Kagome looked at Inuyasha and doesn’t say a word. However, Inuyasha has caught the sorrow look in her eyes.

‘OK. I think it’s time to go back to the village. Well done, everyone. Thank you for helping.’ Kagome said to the children. They put the herbs into a wooden bucket. Inuyasha helped them, too.
Everything looked nice when the weather was beautiful.
Children were singing songs and enjoyed the view.

‘Oh…‘ Inuyasha suddenly spoke.
Everyone looked at him and tried to find out what happened.
‘Kikyou…’ Inuyasha whispered.
Kagome could see Kikyou stood in the distance and glared hatred at her.

‘What are you doing here, Inuyasha? I was trying to find you. You took a long time to complete what I have told you to do!’ Kikyou said.
Kagome looked at Inuyasha again. She knew she better leave them alone.
‘Let’s go, children! We better leave now.’ said Kagome.
‘Why, Kagome? Are they going to fight?’ asked a little girl.
‘I don’t know, sweetie. But I think we should leave now ….or do you want to stay?’ Kagome asked jokingly and children were laughing out loud.
Unexpectedly Kagome turned back and said, ‘Guess who can run back to the village first!’ Then she started to run. ‘Wait up, Kagome!’ other children said loudly. Then only Inuyasha and Kikyou were standing there quietly.

‘I just came back…’ Inuyasha said.
‘You don’t know how much I worried about you.’ Kikyou said.
‘I am sorry…’ Inuyasha said.
‘and I hate to see you stand next to Kagome.’ Kikyou said sulkily.
‘Kikyou…don’t…’ Iuyasha wished he could change her mind.
‘Don’t say anything about her, Inuyahsa! You knew she is still trying to get the Shikon jewel. How dangerous that is! The Shikon jewel is mine! Nobody is going to get it from me!’ Kikyou said angrily. She held Inuyasha’s hand and said, ‘You can have my world, too. Inuyasha.’ Kikyou said in a soft voice and held Inuyasha.
Inuyasha knew she is getting crazy about the Shikon jewel which is a really bad thing.

‘Yes! I’m the first one!’ said Kagome happily.
‘It is not fair, Kagome. You didn’t tell us that we were going to run back home!’ other children complained, but they did enjoyed the running.
‘Alright, alright….Does anyone wants some sweeties?’ Kagome asked.
‘Me!!!! Me!!! I want sweeties!!!!’ children waved their hands and answered loudly.
‘Okay, now put down your wooden buckets and clean yourself. I will bring you some water and sweeties.’ said Kagome and went inside the house.
Children enjoyed the day and Kagome put up the herbs. Everything seemed so peaceful.

It was a quiet night, you could hear the sound that cicadas were making, and everyone was sleeping. Kagome was lying on the bed and tried to sleep, but suddenly a window was opened!
Kagome opened her eyes and tried to get a weapon. However, it was too dark at night and quite outside. Kagome couldn’t know where the person/demon was and she couldn’t light a candle, neither. Otherwise, the person/demon would see her.
‘Stop hiding!’ Kagome yelled.
‘Are you afraid, Kagome?’ a voice turned up at the window side.
‘Kikyou?’ Kagome said wontedly.
‘Surprised?’ Kikyou asked and laughed sinisterly.
‘What do you want? Why did you come to my room?’ Kagome asked.
‘I just realized that if someone wants to take control of the Shikon jewel, they need the pure blood.’ Kikyou told Kagome why she came here.
‘and now you are going to kill me. Huh?’ Kagome said

Kikyou used her magic to put up a table and throw it to Kagome.
‘Yes! I want you die so bad! I want the Shikon jewel and Inuyasha! I won’t let you touch them!’ Kikyou yelled and more things had thrown to Kagome.

‘You can take everything from me, but I won’t let you have the Shikon jewel! I promised I will protect it!’ Kagome said it out loud and used her magic to protect herself. She used the magic to toss Kikyou out of her room. They were standing on the roof and fighting. Kagome got serious hurt in this fighting. Even though some parts of her body were injured, she still kept fighting.

‘I am not going to let you get what you want!’ said Kagome in a tiring voice but resolutely.
‘Oh yeah?! Look at you! You are bleeding. How are you going to stop me? You don’t even have the energy. I can kill you now easily.’ Kikyou said.
She put most of her energy to create new strong magic to defeat Kagome.
When the dangerous magic came to Kagome, she could hardly handle it.
‘Ah……’ Kagome screamed.

Suddenly, a yellow light showed up and stopped the dangerous magic.
Kagome looked up and found out that was Inuyasha. She couldn’t handle anymore, she was unconscious afterward.

‘What are you doing, Inuyasha?’ Kikyou yelled.
‘That’s the question that I’m going to ask you! Kikyou, what are you doing? Why are trying to kill Kagome?’ Inuyasha asked puzzlingly
‘Shut up! You suppose to help me and by my side. See what you did.’ Kikyou was mad.
‘Kikyou, you are getting unbelievable crazy! Do you know what you are doing?’ said Inuyasha.
‘Of course I know what I am doing. I need her blood to take control the Shikon jewel, the world and you!’ Kikyou yelled loudly straight away without thinking. Inuyasha couldn’t believe what she just said. She broke his heart. He wondered where the nice Kikyou was. Things were totally different at that moment. Inuyasha just realized how wrong he was. He couldn’t believe that he was trying to help Kikyou. It was so wrong.

‘Um…’ Kagome groaned.
‘Are you okay, Kagome?’ Inuyasha asked gently.
‘Kikyou, I won’t let you have the Shikon jewel. I made a promise with Inuyasha’s father. I will do everything to get it back!’ Kagome said.

‘Huh! Why don’t you give it a try? Let’s see who the winner is.’ Kikyou said arrogantly.

Abruptly the Shikon jewel floated in the air slowly. Kikyou was trying to get it, but it rejected. Then she tried to use her magic to control it, but she couldn’t. The Shikon jewel stopped on the hands of Kagome.
‘Give it back! Kagome!’
‘It just came to me.’ Kagome said.
‘I said give it back to me!’ Kikyou said.
‘Take it back by yourself, Kikyou.’
Kikyou really wanted to get it back, but she couldn’t even touch it.

The color of Shikon jewel was dark purple. However, when it was on Kagome’s hands, it became pure purple.

This was not the end. Afterwards Kagome tried her best to take care of the Shikon jewel, although the fighting has always happening. Inuyasha has found a good heart in Kagome. He decided to protect Kagome and the world forever.

Ghost Whisperer

“Have you unpacked those vases yet?” Melinda called out to her assistant, Natalie, as she straightened a dusty painting. She took a step back, surveying the ancient (but dull, let’s be honest here) painting for a moment before smiling to herself in approval and turning back to the front of the antique store she owns and runs. Just seconds later she let out a gasp, catching sight of a teenage girl standing in the middle of a grand dining table. Well… she wasn’t so much standing in it, as it was standing in her. The table came to about waist height, and the girl seemed perfectly happy with her current location. The girl had long, sleek hair, the kind that can only be achieved through professional straightening, and the dark locks were frosted blonde at the ends. Her green eyes flicked up to stare at Melinda, a slight sneer on her otherwise indifferent face as she slouched against the wall the table was shoved against.

Melinda took a moment to compose herself, adjusting to the surprise of unannounced customer before she tilted her head slightly and offered a friendly smile to the newcomer. “Can I help you?” She asked as she made her way over to the girl, flicking her gaze up to the bell hanging over the front door briefly as if making sure it was still there.

The girl flicked her hair over one shoulder, looking around the antique store with barely concealed boredom. “Nah I’m good.” She muttered in response, casting her gaze over the store quickly before settling on inspecting her nails. “The stuff here’s kinda old and boring.” The girl paused for a moment, her eyes training on the painting Melinda had just straightened. “Not to mention dusty.” The girl snorted at this, shaking her head in dismissal of the store in general as she looked back down at her nails. “I’m just waiting for my sister.” She threw the explanation out thoughtlessly, practically oozing indifference as a manicured hand rose to cover a yawn.

“R-right…” Melinda nodded slowly, a confused look on her face before she shrugged it off, turning back to the dusty painting and grimacing to herself as she rubbed at the dusty frame. “Oh!” The bright smile returned to her face as she remembered something. “What’s your name?” She asked the girl, spinning around again to discover a now empty store. “Oh… okay…” She sighed to herself. “Maybe another time then?” She muttered more to herself than the now absent girl, doubtful of her chances of ever meeting the ghost again.

“Did you say something?” The voice of her assistant rang out, as the middle aged woman staggered in under the weight of a large cardboard box. Melinda blinked in surprise as she turned towards her assistant, before shaking her head slowly. “No… nothing.” She forced a smile to her face, a look of curiosity and frustration in her eyes.

“Right then.” Her assistant started, a bright grin on her face. “Where did you want those vases?” She asked as she dumped the box down on the counter heavily, an unnerving breaking sound issuing from the cardboard box, earning a wince from Melinda as dollar signs start running through the boss’s head. Rubbing her hands together, she turned to face Melinda, leaning against the counter as she awaits an answer.

Melinda frowned thoughtfully, looking around the store quickly as she considered this dilemma before gasping and starting forward. “Look out for…!” Melinda’s sentence trailed off as she watched in horror as her assistant leant against the counter, the woman’s elbow knocking the cardboard box from its stable resting place and sending the antique vases crashing to the floor.

As the sound of breaking pottery subsided, the grimace remained frozen on Melinda’s face, frantic calculations of how many thousands of dollars worth of damage had just occurred running through her head. How much would it cost her store this time?

“I can fix it, I can fix it!” Natalie sang out, a hopeful smile on her face as she crouched down next to the box of now broken antique vases. “We just need some glue is all!” She promised cheerfully as she righted the box and started scooping up fragments of pottery. “Now…” A thoughtful expression formed on Natalie’s over optimistic face as she peered at the various fragments. “Which piece goes with which vase?” Natalie pondered aloud, as she held up a piece of the remaining fragments and tried to determine what shape and pattern it had once formed.

The grimace slowly melted from Melinda’s face, to be replaced with a tired look of disbelief as she turned and walked out of the store slowly.

Today had not been a good day.

A clear ‘ding’ from above her brought a smile to her face as she passed through the front door… at least that silly bell was still working!

yet finished fanfiction of a Japanese cartoon 'Inuyasha'

‘Kaede, you are a good girl and I knew you have the same ability as I have. Hope you can take care of my sons and use your ability in a good way. Thank you very much.’ Dougaou said feebly.
‘Yes, Dougaou. I promise you to protect them as much as I can’ Kaede answered sorrowfully, but at the same time she was surprised that Dougaou has already noticed of her ability of seeing the future.
There is no much time for Dougaou, he is old enough and it is about time. After saying his last words, Dougaou passed away peacefully. It is a big news to the whole world, because Dougaou was very powerful at the time. Many demons were afraid of him, but when they knew that Dougaou just passed away, those demons have a fervent desire to slay and destroy whatever they see. They finally come out with no fear. Most of them want to snatch the Shikon jewel from Kikyou.

Kikyou is one of the efficient helper to Dougaou. She is a sorcerer and her job is to guard the Shikon jewel. The Shikon jewel has infinite power and the demons have found it very attractive. They wanted to have it to become stronger. Normally, the demons and people cannot handle the power of Shikon jewel, because it is too strong for them. Hundred years ago, there were some demons had used it, but none of them could control it. Some of them went crazy and some of them were killed by Dougaou. He was trying to protect the world and doesn’t want anyone to touch the Shikon jewel. Other demons couldn’t take control of it, but Dougaou could. Kikyou actually protects the Shikon jewel by an invisible boundary of protection, so she couldn’t take control as well as Dougaou. Therefore, she doesn’t believe that anyone else could take good control of the Shikon jewel besides Dougaou.

Even thought Kikyou is doing a good job to defend the Shikon jewel, Kaede still doesn’t understand why Dougaou told her to take care of his sons. Can’t Kikyou do it? She wondered.

Suddenly Kaede heard someone is calling her name.
‘Kaede…Kaede...wake up, Kaede!’ Shippou pushed her and try to wake her up.‘Oh, Shippou…it’s you.’ Kaede opened her eyes and said. Then she realized it was a dream. Kaede had the same dream again.

Jase, Fred and G'

Halloween, 13 days later. Friday night.

Fred was sitting at the bar on his own, dressed in his usual black and red long-sleeves sweater, about to finish his fifth or sixth bottle of whisky. Long agonising minutes has passed when Jase busted in the door, catching the attention of all the people still in the bar. Out of breath, he started to pace back and forth, still looking at the door as if he was expecting to see someone coming behind him. Frustrated and irritated by the agitation that has settled since Jase entered the bar moments ago - and obviously due to the too much alcohol running into his brain - Fred turned and throw Jase an infuriated look. Jase stopped pacing and caught Fred’s eyes, which made him jump out of his thoughts and realise that every single living thing in the room was watching him speculatively. Meanwhile, he managed to grab the stool next to Fred, sat and tried without success to suppress his uneasiness.

Aware that the situation was annoying him, Fred started to talk, “Hey Jase, what’s wrong with you man?”Since Jase didn’t seem to hear him or didn’t give a damn about him – well, he couldn’t tell himself what it was since he had been drinking during the past three hours and that definitely had a huge effect on his less than remaining senses – he snapped his fingers in front of his face trying to get Jase back to life and add in a mocking tone, “Wake up!”. Once again lost in his thoughts, he stared at Fred and gave him an are-you-talking-to-me kind of look and finally opened his mouth, “Me?”
“No, Jesus”, he said sipping the last of his glass, this time grinning “so, what’s up with you anyway?” Somehow at that particular moment, even thought he knew Fred has been drinking like a hole during the past hours – primo because he smelled like he had been swimming in it and deusio because he looked like he’d been run over by a truck – Jase could see a genuine – not to say annoying – curiosity in Fred’s eyes, which he knew wouldn’t be suppressed by a simple “nothing” but he told himself that he could at least try.

But before he could spit it out right into Fred’s face – which he wished would stop Fred from asking him stupid question – Fred hold up his hand as to stop him from arguing as if he already knew what to expect then nodded to the bartender, a sign that means he wanted another drink, and facing Jase again said in a menacing tone, “don’t try to bullshit me”. Jase’s “why do you care” only happened to get Fred’s grin widened before bursting into laugh, which only made Jase want to cut his head off but then, Fred grew seriously again and said, “I don’t. But you’ve been jumping around like you’re sob’s ass was on fire and it got the hell out of me, so I thought you might as well want to share a bit. Not that I care, of course”.
“You won’t let it go, eh?” Jase surprised himself saying it because he knew much too late that it’ll only encourage Fred to push him spill it all out, whether or not he wanted to. He thought a moment and then, only because he wanted to be finished with it as fast as it has started, he glance in Fred’s direction only to find him looking back at him, cocking his brows.

He tightened his jaw and swore under his breath before muttering something that this time was more directed to himself for being such an idiot and letting the sob who was sitting next to him see far too much than he should have. “So?” Fred said lifting one brow in expectation. Now that he knew he had no choice Jase firmly said “Ok. I talk, you shut up. NO comment, got that?”
Fred shrugged and added glancing his way with a satisfied look “I’ll try”. Jase narrowed his gaze and shook his head already regretting the ‘deal’ he knew was more to his disadvantage. In his attempt to relax, he drew in a deep breath and finally spoke, “Look, last week, during halloween I, I met that girl…I mean…that thing and…oh gosh” he let a desperate sigh escape from his lips and continued “it was dark and I didn’t get to see her, really I mean”, when he saw Fred frowning, he knew what was to come and said, embarrassment now written all over him “yeah, yeah I know, sounds crazy…people like us, don't usually…but, you know?” he looked and hoped Fred understood and wouldn’t want him to clarify what sounded like a whole mess even to his own ears. Fred looked confused and irritated “What the...what are you talking about?!” he said feeling his patience running empty. “Well as I told you were” and Fred said cutting him off “yeah yeah you were in the dark and blablabla so, what the hell happened?!”

“She grabbed my...” but before he could finish his sentence, Jase was interrupted by what seems to be a female voice “well, well, well, what’s that? singles support-group?” Surprised by the interruption Fred wondered “and you are?”, “G’” Jase muttered “like Gorgeous” added the stranger “NO, like Go to hell” Jase replied, his uneasiness coming out from every pore of his body. “Ouch! So rude” her words made him shiver with disgust as she approach her mouth to his ear and said low enough to keep others but not Fred from hearing “it hurts when you do that babe” again her voice make goose bumps appear all along his spine “I’ll be damned” “hmm if I remember, you weren’t that uninterested when I was going down on...” Well aware of where their conversation was heading, and even thought the scene playing right before his eyes amused him, Fred finally convinced himself that he wouldn’t survived if he was to hear the end of it and said holding up a hand to stop both them before they start eating up at each other “wow! Please, spare me the details!” They both looked at him, G’ like she was going to make him pay for his intrusion and Jase with an expression on his face that screamed Thank you god!!

“So is that what it was all about?” Fred sighted “Jason Voorhees you’re just so useless” Trying to get the attention back to her – most of all Jase’s attention – as  to remind them that she was still there, she started sliding a hand upward on one of Jase’s thigh to some forbidden territory when she heard Fred asking “mind to join us?” Startled by his proposition, she glanced at Jase and said teasing them “depends, am I gonna look as pathetic as the two of you do?” then she winked at Jase who was now griting his teeth. Unexpectedly she decided to end her little masquerade and what she said next made Jase exhale a heavy sighs of relief “Sorry to disappoint you guys, but gotta get back to business but thanks anyway Mr?”she looked at Fred waiting for him to introduce himself "Krueger, Freddy Krueger" she nodded "Mr. Krueger" then she turned around and walked to the door but before she got out, she turned back and said “got some killing to do” then she blew a kiss to Jase and said “see you later bad boy” and then she disappeared behind the doors. “Ewww, I hate when she does that” he saw Fred studying him “what?” Fred shook his head “Well I’ve just understood why you were so anxious at the idea of seeing her again” he sipped his drink “she’s quite a phenomena, and a scary one” he looked at the ceiling “but I swear I saw her somewhere else”

Jase looked at him and from the first time during the whole evening, he seemed amused “remember I called her G’?” Fred nodded “well comes from a big crap movie those low-life humans made...The Grudge” Fred thought for a moment then said “yeah that’s the one! But isn’t she supposed to make that horrible sound like...” “all special effects” Jase said as he ordered his first drink. Fred was thankful for everything that had happened tonight since it made him forget why he was there himself. 

But then, that would be another story...

 

Fallen Father

This is a tale of soul corruption on Craggy Island, where Father Ted lives with his friends and fellow priests, profane Father Jack Hackett, dim-witted Father Dougal McGuire, and their tea-drinking housekeeper Mrs. Doyle. Call this a belated St. Patrick's Day contribution if you like. The story begins on a stormy beach where Ted and Jack have just made a gruesome discovery...

"Oh holey Jesus," Father Ted moaned, sprinkling a large handful of clumped sand across the cadaver. A sudden and heavy gust of wind blew the blessing gesture onto the surface of the cave rock and away from it's target. "Yay let us ponder the Lord's mercy, ashes to ashes, dust to dust."
The dead stag lying at their feet was no prize winner. Father Ted doubted that it would've even been old enough to be accepted, much less considered, as a contestant at this year's Craggy Island Stock Fair. Or, indeed, anyplace local. Only about a metre long, it's stature and physique were considerably below-par. It's antlers were still fragile, light-shaded and under-developed; had cracked in several places or simply snapped off completely elsewhere, not the mature, rugged horns on some beasts of it's kind which indicated that the creature had definitely seen more than enough winters. It's fur was pristine and glossy and, like the antlers, hadn't really darkened, and didn't carry the course, shaggy surface in it's bristles that elder and more worldly stags tended to possess. Father Ted guessed it to be little more than a year old, perhaps one and a half at the very most. Now it was splayed over the sand in front of them like a dismembered tree branch, about as much breath left in it, it's unimpressive muzzle bruised and bloody, it's black eyes locked forward in a glassy stare. It would be grazing no more.
"Must've slipped off the hill," Father Jack noted, shielding his eyes from the afternoon glare with one hand as he looked up at the cliffside above them, where a grassy mountain peaked at the very top, at least nineteen feet high or thereabouts. "Wandered over towards the edge, lost it's footing, fallen off. Bad place to keep deer, if you ask me. They must lose members of their herd all of the time. Dougal mentioned that to me the other week. Said some stupid SOB lost two pregnant does that day. Silly thing to do. Why in blue feck don't they get a fence put up."
Ted looked up at him and cocked an eyebrow. "Tell me what a 'blue feck' is and I tell you why there's no point in putting up a fence," he said.
Father Jack gave him a scowl that was too sinister to be anything but feck you.
"The land around here shifts too much to support a fence," Ted said, bending down to stroke one of the creature's legs. "Haven't you seen all of the hills in this countryside which have so many gaps between them that the fences are always hanging off the edge? It's because the dirt keeps crumbling off and separating them. I've seen it often. The ground gets too moist and squealchy and waterlogged. Especially around the beach where the sand is forever moving. This place where we're standing - it's about three levels higher up than the way it used to be. That cave entrance wasn't accessible last time; there's no way you would've been able to climb up the rock high enough to enter it. I suppose whoever owns this herd must've figured that they could try putting a fence up, but the way of the land, they'd probably keep losing deer anyway."
As he stroked the stag he noticed that it had suffered a nasty compound fracture in it's fall, breaking a hind bone in two places. Much as he tried to avoid the mental image, he couldn't help picturing the stag taking it's tumble, plummeting down into space, probably whacking against the sides of the cave rock as it went. A large, blood-soaked dent on the other side of it's skull showed that it's head also hadn't been safe in avoiding all of the hits that it would've taken.
"Let's bury it," Ted said, taking it's two moderate back hooves in his hands and tying them together with a rubber band that he pulled from his back pocket. "At least give it a decent burial. It won't be asking for much else anytime soon."
"I'm not touching that thing," Jack replied, as deadpan as ever. "It's probably riddled with bugs."
Father Ted began to scoop large handfuls of wet sand out of the ground with both hands.
"What are you doing?" Jack barked.
"Start digging," Ted ordered. "We wanna get this over with before the sun goes down."
"You're out of your head," came Jack's response.
"Hurry up," Father Ted told him. "We don't wanna be here all night." He paused to tie the stag's other two hooves together with another rubber band.
"Put that down!" Father Jack cried. "I bet it's full of disease. You gave it a decent eulogy, considering that's something that it would've never expected to get. Haven't you done enough?"
"It won't be full of disease," Ted said. "It's barely had a chance to decompose. Look at it. You can see it can't you? This is a fresh death. He probably died not even two hours ago. Start digging Jack." He began to shift the animal across the sand with all of his might. It may've been young and far from fireplace mounting material, but it was still surprisingly heavy. "We're going to bury him. Surely you know all about holes."
Jack screwed up his face. "Tell you what. Let's take him home and roast him. We'll be eating venison for a week. He's not that big, but we'll still get a decent feed out of him. Be probably the best meal we've had in ages, considering what that Doyle of yours has been dishing up lately. Honestly, you haven't been able to teach her a thing. And then this animal will be forever living inside us. I say that's not a bad deal. We'll be taking a little piece of him with us wherever we go."
"No we won't, you idiot," Ted replied. "It's not going to stay inside us forever! No food does!"
"Well, then we'll be putting him back into the Earth when we're done. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, right? Isn't that exactly what you said? The circle of life rages on."
"For heaven's sake Jack, show a little respect and start digging," Ted snapped. "We're not putting him back into the Earth after we've both digested him. We're putting him back into the Earth right now in his full and complete form. Stop arguing with me. I'm burying him with or without your help. Problem is, without will take longer. Start digging."
Muttering and swearing under his breath, Father Jack used his own hands to begin scooping large handfuls of sand out of the ground. Within several minutes the two men had created a decent-sized pit.
"Take the legs." Father Ted patted the creature's two banded front hooves. "The legs?"
Father Jack gave another scowl and grabbed the two appendages in question. On the count of three, they lifted the animal up off the ground and threw him into the pit. They then began to recover him.
"Amen," Father Ted said, crossing himself.
"Now let's get the feck out of here," Father Jack growled. "It's going to start pissing down with rain any minute. I'm not going to get soaked to the bone for the sake of some measly little wallaby who could've made an amazing venison meal."
"Big-hearted as always," Father Ted whispered. The weather was looking bad though. The wind was blowing hard and bitter, and the sky all around them was blanketed with thick, multiple layers of black cloud. Sharp bolts of thunder rumbled overhead at a volume booming enough to make the ground vibrate and Father Ted noticed the first few flashes of silver lightening hitting the rolling hills on the horizon. It was unlikely that they'd be able to make it back to town before the first rainstorm hit. Unlikely soon turned to unfeasible.
"You and your shortcuts," Father Jack groused as they wandered up the long sandy path. He was already dripping wet, but his mood would've been exactly the same if his forehead had been hit by one single raindrop every half-hour. Father Ted knew mighty well how it was going to go for the rest of the trip, morality be damned.
As it did go. Jack barely said a word to him for the rest of the walk. Questions were answered with either a shake of the head or an extension of two prominent fingers on his left hand. But the foul mood he was in now hadn't seen anything in full force when he and Ted made their way up the gravel driveway leading to their residence and found another dead deer lying half-way across the stony path about two feet down from the building entrance. It's head was buried in the patch of grass growing just next to the walkway, it's back hooves sprawled over the surface of the trail.
"What the...?" was all Ted could say at first. This one was even younger than the last - a fading rash of juvenile white spots across the small of it's back indicated that it had barely even left it's fawn years behind.
"Well this is certainly shocking!" Jack yelled, kicking a large pebble across the ground with his foot. "What the hell is this? 'Let's all celebrate Venison Week'? For Christ's sake, I am not burying this one!"
"Don't take the Lord's name in vain, Jack," Ted ordered, although in all honesty he had a hard time caring about that right now - ordering that demand was really just a force of habit these days.
"You quit using mine that way and maybe I will," Jack snapped in reply. "How did this animal even get here? There are no herds around this area! Is this a welcoming present from the good people at the butcher's, symbolising that they want us to buy more meat? They're having a special on deer this week and all stock must go? Well good old butcher's, discreet as always! Yup, they're as subtle as a train wreck, same as they've always been!"
"Wait," Father Ted replied, tuning out a lot of the sarcastic remarks that Jack was blathering on, as he bent down to inspect the creature. "He's not dead."
"Of course he's dead!" Jack yelled. "Does he look alive to you? You have funny perceptions of what looks alive and what doesn't!"
"Shut up for a minute," Ted said. He examined the animal closer. The bloody wound on his head did, of course, clarify that he was damaged beyond repair, but the neck was not broken. Ted was the only one who seemed to recognise that. The stag's body was not moving, but there was a flicker of pulse still left in the upper regions, and the occasional rise of it's throat suggested that the oesophagus was still working to the final beat - not speeding up by no means, but not slowing down either. Ted lowered his head to the stag's neck and held his ear to it to try and find the last throb, the last twitch, the last breath that might be left.
"Don't touch that thing - "
"Shut up," Ted ordered, and he kept his ear where it was. "He's still breathing. I can feel it. He's still alive."
"But he's not gonna be much good to anybody anymore in the state that he's in, is he?" Jack replied. "The poor thing's probably better off dead. Would you wanna be kept on life support in that kind of state, or would you want them to pull the plug and get it over with? I know which route I'd choose."
"Shut up, Jack!"
"You think I'm being disrespectful? At least I know when to say when." Jack threw up his arms. "This is making me sick! I can't believe we're having an argument over a gone done turkey. Wait here. I've got just the solution."
Father Jack disappeared around the back of the building. Father Ted stayed where he was, stroking the stag's back with one hand, every so often holding two fingers to it's throat to feel the dwindling pulse again, trying to find the remaining shred of vivacity there that it once had, could still have, needed to sustain. The bitter wind continued to blow all around the gravelly walkway, and for a while there was nobody there except the two of them, Ted taking no notice of anything else in his presence or how long Jack had been gone. Within a short while he was barely even able to give any consideration or thought to why he had left or when he would be back.
After what felt like several hours later however, Jack finally returned, heading purposefully to the spot where Ted and the stag lay, his expression hard and heavy and determined. He held a long shiny rifle in his right hand.
"No," Ted said before Jack had even reached him. He shook his head slowly but firmly. "No. No. No."
"Do it, Ted," Jack said. "Put it out of it's misery. Send it up to that long flourishing meadow in the sky. In Deer Heaven I bet there's millions of acres of field to graze, blooming with beautiful tasty clovers and dew, no hunters, Bambi's long-lost mother, and the most perfect drinking ponds all around where the surface is so crystal clear that you can see yourself in it. Your mate here can take a good long sip and say, 'Thanks to the honours of my good friend Father Ted, how excellent this water tastes!' It's a better situation, believe me. So go ahead and do it. Get it over with. We don't wanna be out here all day, just like you said."
"You do it, then!" Ted yelled, turning away so that Jack wouldn't see the misery in his eyes. "Why should I have to be the one to do the final destructive act? You're the one who doesn't seem to give two shits about this deer, it'll be much easier for you!"
"No," Father Jack said calmly, closing his eyes and shaking his head, lowering the rifle as he did so. "I cannot do that, much as I might like to."
"Why not?"
"Because," Jack continued patiently, "it'll be the best way for you to get closure. Say goodbye for the last time, seeing as you seem to care so much about these creatures. I can shoot the animal and it won't affect me. I got nothing to mourn. But you do. And if you do it then it'll be the best way for you to let go. You obviously need that service. There is such a thing as caring too much about something, Ted. You have a tendency to care way too much about things. And that's good in some ways, but not so good in others. Let me be the one to reduce that burden for you. Take the gun." He extended the rifle out to Father Ted.
"No."
"Do it, Ted."
"No goddamnit!"
"Don't take the Lord's name in vain, Ted."
"I won't do it."
"You're doing the right thing."
"I can't..."
"Yes you can," Jack assured him. "Never say you can't do something, Ted. You can always do something, you just choose not to do it. 'Can't' and 'won't' are different things, keeed. But you can do this. And you will do it. You can do anything that you think can do. They gotta tell you something, right? Take the gun."
He slid the rifle into Ted's reluctant hands and patted him on the shoulder. Ted didn't budge. He remained where he was, his eyes fixed on the limp, still-breathing stag in front of him, his mind whizzing with a thousand conflicted emotions.
There was a russle of grass blades as Father Jack lept annoyingly to his feet. "Well!" he cried. "You are a very stubborn priest, I must say, and I can't sit here all day waiting for you to do it, as much I may need to see the act unravel. You keep sitting there if you want to Ted, but I have other plans. I'll come back in an hour and see if you've changed your - "
"Don't make me do this, Jack. You can make me do it, I know, but please don't. I - "
"You can do as you choose, mate."
There was another awkward silence.
"Fine," Father Ted announced in conclusion. "But do me a favour."
"What?"
"Give me your hankerchief. I want a blindfold."
"It hasn't been washed for a few days, Ted - "
"Just give me the hankerchief!" Ted demanded.
Father Jack nodded in understanding. "Of course. Here. Let me do it for you." He took it out from his coat pocket and tied it around Ted's head so that his eyes were completely concealed beneath it. Father Ted cringed in deepened sadness one last time and rose steadily to his feet, cocking the rifle in his hand. He couldn't see, but he knew exactly where the barrel needed to point. He took aim.
"Oh blessed Jesus," Father Jack began, standing up also, holding his hands nobly in front of him. "Yay let us ponder the Lord's mercy, ashes to ashes, dust to dust."
The gunshot went off in an earpiercing blast, knocking the rifle back into Ted's chest with such unexpected force that he could feel his bones shudder; jar into each other almost. An extended, ongoing echo rolled loudly across the countryside and over the surrounding hills.
Father Jack reached out and squeezed Ted's shoulder. "I'm proud of you, Teddy," he said.
"I don't care if you're proud of me," Ted said sharply, whacking Jack's hand away.
"Well I am," Jack confirmed. "And to show it, here's my good deed. Let's bury this one aswell. I'll get the spade."
He disappeared back around the building again and returned with two large rusty shovels. He and Ted dug deep into the patch of grass next to the walkway and threw the young corpse inside. When it was all over and the hole had been recovered with the soil, neither of them spoke a word.
At that point, slow-witted Father Dougal came running out, his face ghost-white and sweat-soaked, his expression alarmed and troubled.
"Are you guys OK?!" he yelled. "That sounded like a gunshot!"
"We were just thinning out some overpopulated numbers," Jack told him.
"Father!" a seperate voice called from up ahead. The door to the entrance swung open and Miss Doyle appeared on the walkway. "Ted! Jack! Can you believe this? Our neighbours just rang. I just heard from them on the telephone that there are wildmen about killing stags with sledgehammers. Apparently some guys over the hill have lost seven stags already. So we were told - " she paused when her eyes suddenly adjusted to the scene and processed everything in it. She glared at Father Ted angrily. "What in God's name are you doing with that gun, Ted?!" she finished.
A baffled Ted glanced down at the gun then looked back at Miss Doyle. "Ah, nothing," he replied sheepishly.
"Said something about thinning about the numbers," Dougal piped up.
"What numbers?" Doyle asked, and then she made the connection. The look on her face turned from mildly stunned to absolutely lost at sea. "Good Lord, Ted!" she squealed. "Don't tell me you've joined their allegiance?!"
"Oh please," Jack said. "It took all of the egging in the world to try and convince him to shoot one single stag. How in the hell of it would he be capable of going out and slaughtering a whole bunch of them with a sledgehammer?"
"You shot a stag?!" Miss Doyle screamed. "You mad, impetuous brute! I'm calling the police right now!" She turned around and ran into the house, slamming the door behind her.
"Doyle!" Ted yelled, but she was gone before he could explain.
"She'll be fine," Jack assured Ted, patting him on the back with one hand. "You know the truth."
"Try telling the cops that," Ted replied sourly, and he headed into the house. "I'm really gonna get in for this, by Christ."
"Don't take the Lord's name in vain, Ted," Dougal snapped, and he flicked Ted upward on the back of the head.

Hey guys ^_^

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